down the reddit hole

If I am being honest with you all, I am a relative newcomer to the Reddit universe. While I had encountered an occasional thread over the years, I rarely ventured much past a funny or intriguing post here or there. That was until 2022, the year that I desperately began seeking support/advice/answers/commiseration/frankly anything related to what the actual hell was happening to my life.

Enter Reddit. Along with its close cousin Instagram Reels, Reddit became a bizarre source of community at a time when I often felt isolated or alone. Maybe it’s that old adage of “misery loves company”, and trust me when I say, there is no shortage of people just as miserable as you at any given time! All joking aside though, there is something oddly reaffirming about hearing the innermost thoughts, feelings, and musings of thousands of anonymous users maneuvering their way through the same dumpster fire or flaming messtastrophe as you are (and yes, I made that word up)!

For those unfamiliar with exactly how Reddit is set up, it is basically an online forum divided into subreddits - each dedicated to a specific topic. You name it, there is a subreddit for it. Many of the subreddits can be great resources to point you in the right direction in professional or personal endeavors. Not shockingly however, I was quickly drawn to the funny side of Reddit. Need to know if you are the Ahole in any given situation - r/AITA. Need to unload that embarrassing something off your chest - r/Confession. And yes my friends, there are even subreddits targeted straight at us - r/Midlifecrisis. The list goes on and on.

Welcome to the Reddit rabbit hole.

The online confessional booth that is reddit

What does it say about me if I am willing to spend hours reading about other people’s relationship disasters, moral dilemmas, cringe-worthy moments, or epic work fails? Well, I think it means I am human. In a bizarre way, Reddit has become an unlikely “safe space”, not only for people to seek advice or air their grievances, but also a place where people go to feel “normal”. Some of the allure of Reddit is that it gives you a platform to engage (either passively or directly) with others and often no topic is too personal, too embarrassing, or too off-limits.

need proof?

I decided to take a quick peek into Reddit this afternoon to share just a few of the more intriguing threads posted recently.

Trust me when I tell you, they really run the gambit. Sometimes you feel like you are hearing someone recite a story from your own life, other times you want to thank your lucky stars that you aren’t that lady on r/Adulting who accidentally texted her grown son “thank you for the lack of sleep last night, wink, wink” meant for her Tinder date!

From the r/AITA subreddit (this one is great because the readers issue their “verdicts” on the author’s moral dilemma in the comments), we have everything from a man(46) asking if he can fake having the flu over Thanksgiving so he doesn’t have to come out of his bedroom to have dinner with his in-laws, to another man(52) asking if it’s ok to “regift” the sweater that he gave his wife (that didn’t fit her) to his mistress - fortunately, he pretty much got torn a new one from the readers!

why does reddit feel so “safe”

One word, anonymity. The bottom line is, that it’s hard to be vulnerable when your name is attached. How many of us are willing to share our deepest, darkest, most compromising thoughts and actions if it is likely going to show up on our neighbor’s Facebook feed? On that same note, how many of us are willing to give our unsolicited feedback or engage in conversations around questionable topics if we have to use our personal social media accounts? I admit, I am only a voyeur to date, but even I have been tempted to add my two cents to a few choice threads! I guess there is also a cathartic aspect to being able to rant freely to a bunch of random strangers who you will never have to answer to in real life or run into at Target!

The hole can get pretty dark

Just like all online platforms, Reddit isn’t all judgment-free support and virtual hugs. That exact anonymity that allows for honesty and vulnerability to flourish also allows for online bullies and trolls to jump out from the dark crevices. Now, there are certainly times when the attack is well deserved, and I would argue that some authors actually publish their content to elicit that exact kind of discourse. However, some people are simply just mean and that is always a risk that we take whenever we put ourselves out there. I do have to say that one of my favorite things to witness is the phenomenon of the “online vigilantes” who engage the trolls head-on. Now that is some good entertainment!

There is also the literal “rabbit role effect” of Reddit. One minute you are reading an inspiring post about someone finding their true calling at age 55, the next you are deep into r/Conspiracy wondering if the Illuminati really does control everything. It might be time to shut it down if you are still on r/AskReddit at 2 a.m. researching how your 5G smartphone is listening to all of your conversations - just sayin.

final thoughts

While I don’t advocate that you fire your therapist or sell all your worldly belongings and move to a commune in Bali based on a Reddit reader’s advice, I don’t see the harm in indulging in a little debate about microwaving fish in the lunchroom or finding affirmation that you are not the only one who falls asleep in front of the TV while binge watching true crime documentaries.

Now excuse me while I check out r/PortugalExpats so I can live vicariously through woman(57) who moved to Lisbon to be a virtual nomad!